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I can’t wait for November!  I’m wicked excited to be doing NaNoWriMo again this year.  One of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever experienced was reaching the 50k word challenge in 2009, and I’m actually looking forward to the hours of sweat and worry over word count.  I loved feeling proud of myself, so I’m doing it again this year.  Because who doesn’t want to feel proud of themselves?  Anyone who wants to be my writing buddy can click on the image I put in the sidebar over there somewhere (it links to my NaNoWriMo profile). —->

Maybe someday in the far, far (far, far, far, far, very far) away future I will go back and reread my 50k word masterpiece, then edit it and make it actually readable by someone other than me.  Maybe.  If I ever decide to do that, I’ve got copies and backup copies and even backups for my backups.  But for now I’m just going to focus on plowing through another 50k word novel.  And then I’ll stash that one away like the first one, and maybe I’ll die at the ripe old age of 99 years old and my descendants will go through years and years of pathetically written, caffeine fuelled, monster documents and I’ll get published and be famous.  Until that happens, though, I’m content to just write and not let anyone read any of it.

For now.

I’m so tired today.  Most days I get wicked tired around 2-2:30pm.  My eyelids get all heavy and my breathing gets all shallow, and my body is practically in sleep mode.  I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been known to fall asleep sitting upright at my desk.  I’m going to blame it on my work hours.  Working at 4:30 in the morning sucks hardcore.  I should be going to sleep at 7:30pm every night, but who wants to do that?  Ever?  I may be tired enough to go to sleep forever at 2:30 in the afternoon, but I get my second wind every damn day at like 5pm, so I don’t end up actually falling asleep until after 8:30pm unless I take something to make myself drowsy.  I am NOT a morning person.  I’m mean and cranky and can’t hardly function in the mornings.  I shouldn’t be allowed to operate heavy machinery (read: drive to work) until at least an hour after I’ve dragged myself out of bed and had some tea.  But am I going to wake up at 2am just so that I can be more alert for work?  Probably not.  That’s just stupid.  Welcome back to the real world, James.

I’m more tired than normal today because I didn’t really sleep until after 3am.  I got about 10 minutes of sleep, twice, followed each time by hours of panic attacks that prevented me from falling asleep again.  It’s a good thing I didn’t have to work today, but if this happens again tonight I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself, because I have to be to work at 4:30 in the morning.

Damn anxiety.

I can’t type anymore since I got a new keyboard.  The keys are all flat and my hands are used to the protruding keys of my old keyboard that I’d been using since Alli bought me my very first computer for Christmas of 2004, so I’m all over the place.  Maybe one of these days I won’t backspace or edit a blog, and then you can all see how much of a spastic freak my fingers are.