I sometimes contemplate moving my blog, my entire blog, over to Tumblr. But then I realize that I would probably become disenchanted with Tumblr and decide against it. The thought does keep coming back to me, though, because I spend so very much of my time there and so very little of it here. And I’m not really subscribed to BLOG blogs on Tumblr, mostly just things I’m obsessed with that change regularly.
I sometimes wonder if I could ever make money blogging. Not like full time job salary, but enough to supplement my current income. Then I remember that with Blogging for Sanity my goal was to make just enough money from blogging to cover the cost of running my own blog (i.e. web hosting, domain ownership, Thesis, etc.), and I wasn’t able to even do that. I made a total of $75 on my old website, which didn’t even cover the cost of half. So I had to shut it down. I would very much like to again own my own website someday, and at least make enough through blogging to cover the cost, even if I don’t supplement my income in any way from it.
I miss my PS3. I miss playing games on the television rather than at the computer, even though I love my computer games.
I’m writing again, and it feels good. My story is probably crap, but I don’t really give a rat’s ass if it is or not. Just the process of writing, the intense focus and pride I feel when I’ve written a sentences that sounds good is enough for me. Maybe I’ll never be a published writer, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be a writer. I’m so passionate about writing, and I hide it most of the time because I’m scared that it will come to nothing. But you know what? Even if it comes to nothing, I’m having the best time when I’m writing and creating. So I win.
There are so few things in life that we do and actually enjoy doing, or at least for me. Most of the things I do, I do out of obligation. I love to read blogs from people who do what inspires them and makes them happy, because I can sort of live through them in that way. I can’t ever see myself changing and being the inspiring person or the traveler or the woman who does what she loves and enjoys her life every second. I try not to wonder how many of those people who’s blogs I read are as happy as they portray themselves, because I think that ruins the romance of it all. Sometimes I blog about things that absolutely thrill me, and for a brief period of time I can see my life changing in a positive way. But then that ends and I go back to being just me, which is unexciting but at least it is comfortable.
Every day ’empty Google Reader’ is on my To-Do List, and pretty much every day I don’t quite get there. I have trouble even keeping up with it most days. Especially on my days off. I think I will forever be thinking “maybe tomorrow I will watch the 49 YouTube videos I still haven’t touched” and “eventually I will unsubscribe to this blog or that blog, because I don’t really know why I’m subscribed in the first place if I only read one out of every 50 posts”.
I’m going to miss iGoogle. I wish it wasn’t going away. It is Google’s best invention, and I don’t think Chrome (which I use) will be able to compensate enough.