Good morning on this glorious Sunday!
I’ve decided to plan out a To-Do List for the week, and to share it here so as to make myself accountable to the internet. Because, aren’t we all? ^^
This week I want to paint my nails. All twenty of them the same color. (And yes, I did just stop and make sure I had the right number before I continue on.) I want to start reading Pride and Prejudice again, but I want to take my time this time around and not rush through it and be done in two days like I always am. I want to cook something with beef in it, perhaps a soup or a stew. I want to go grocery shopping and actually bring my list with me. I want to remember to have some form of protein every day, because most days I just don’t have any at all and I’ve noticed that when I don’t eat right I feel like crap. And lastly, I want to help someone I love, even if I can only help a little bit. Some of my list isn’t going to be easy, and probably more than once a day I’m going to procrastinate because I’m the Lazy King, but I can do all of these things this week. So I will.
I’m not working any mornings this week, which makes me happy. I detest working mornings. I’m not a morning person. You’ll notice that I’m posting a “Good Morning” blog after 11 AM, because now I’m in a good mood where as when I woke up I was hot and miserable. Realizing that today is grocery day at work has also made me smile. I love grocery day, putting things away and making them nice and neat and organized… it’s the best part of my job! Though I would much rather stay home with The Destroyer today, I don’t mind going in to work. After all, it is air conditioned there, too.
Back in May I had intended to try and blog a few times a week, but things got a little stressful and bad. I worked more than I could handle every week, and my anxiety had me depressed (which in turn made me more anxious), so I really didn’t blog at all the way I’d wanted to. So many times I stared at my blogging dashboard and silently begged for something to say that didn’t involve negativity. Let’s face it, I was existing in a seemingly never-ending self-pity-party, and I didn’t want to inflict that on anyone. It was crowded with just me. After sharing what happened with me in June I felt like I should keep blogging about it, but there wasn’t really much of anything else to day. I woke up every day trying to be happy, trying to be better, and every day I wondered who would even care? I didn’t want that to be all I said, but it’s all I could think about sharing and so I just didn’t share.
I love summer, and this summer I intend to enjoy myself. I’m not a beach-goer. I detest tourists and sand and too much sun, so I won’t be frequenting the beaches. At least not during the day. I’m going to eat frozen yogurt and drink Del’s Lemonade as often as I can. I’m going to go for walks and take care of myself in ways I have neglected for years. I intend to look for beauty in the world instead of seeing all the negative. I will spend time with my family and my friends.
I’m not 100%. I still have moments and days when I’m scared of everything, when I can’t seem to find the motivation to go on and breathing is hard. But I’m going to keep trying. Because when I’m happy, I feel so amazing, and I want to be happy as much as I can. I love the sensation of being inspired, feeling like I have possibilities that I haven’t even thought about. Life can be pretty great, you know? I want to celebrate that, and do things I love. I want to figure out what I love, find new things to be passionate about, and make things. I love making things.
And now it’s time to face the day. I’m going to try and make it a good one.