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Good morning on this glorious Sunday!

I’ve decided to plan out a To-Do List for the week, and to share it here so as to make myself accountable to the internet.  Because, aren’t we all?  ^^

This week I want to paint my nails.  All twenty of them the same color.  (And yes, I did just stop and make sure I had the right number before I continue on.)  I want to start reading Pride and Prejudice again, but I want to take my time this time around and not rush through it and be done in two days like I always am.  I want to cook something with beef in it, perhaps a soup or a stew.  I want to go grocery shopping and actually bring my list with me.  I want to remember to have some form of protein every day, because most days I just don’t have any at all and I’ve noticed that when I don’t eat right I feel like crap.  And lastly, I want to help someone I love, even if I can only help a little bit.  Some of my list isn’t going to be easy, and probably more than once a day I’m going to procrastinate because I’m the Lazy King, but I can do all of these things this week.  So I will.

I’m not working any mornings this week, which makes me happy.  I detest working mornings.  I’m not a morning person.  You’ll notice that I’m posting a “Good Morning” blog after 11 AM, because now I’m in a good mood where as when I woke up I was hot and miserable.  Realizing that today is grocery day at work has also made me smile.  I love grocery day, putting things away and making them nice and neat and organized… it’s the best part of my job!  Though I would much rather stay home with The Destroyer today, I don’t mind going in to work.  After all, it is air conditioned there, too.

Back in May I had intended to try and blog a few times a week, but things got a little stressful and bad.  I worked more than I could handle every week, and my anxiety had me depressed (which in turn made me more anxious), so I really didn’t blog at all the way I’d wanted to.  So many times I stared at my blogging dashboard and silently begged for something to say that didn’t involve negativity.  Let’s face it, I was existing in a seemingly never-ending self-pity-party, and I didn’t want to inflict that on anyone.  It was crowded with just me.  After sharing what happened with me in June I felt like I should keep blogging about it, but there wasn’t really much of anything else to day.  I woke up every day trying to be happy, trying to be better, and every day I wondered who would even care?  I didn’t want that to be all I said, but it’s all I could think about sharing and so I just didn’t share.

I love summer, and this summer I intend to enjoy myself.  I’m not a beach-goer.  I detest tourists and sand and too much sun, so I won’t be frequenting the beaches.  At least not during the day.  I’m going to eat frozen yogurt and drink Del’s Lemonade as often as I can.  I’m going to go for walks and take care of myself in ways I have neglected for years.  I intend to look for beauty in the world instead of seeing all the negative.  I will spend time with my family and my friends.

I’m not 100%.  I still have moments and days when I’m scared of everything, when I can’t seem to find the motivation to go on and breathing is hard.  But I’m going to keep trying.  Because when I’m happy, I feel so amazing, and I want to be happy as much as I can.  I love the sensation of being inspired, feeling like I have possibilities that I haven’t even thought about.  Life can be pretty great, you know?  I want to celebrate that, and do things I love.  I want to figure out what I love, find new things to be passionate about, and make things.  I love making things.

And now it’s time to face the day.  I’m going to try and make it a good one.

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