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sunsetI’m going to practice acknowledging the things I’m grateful for in my life, even if it is just acknowledging it to myself.  Some days I just feel so crummy, and I can’t pinpoint why.  Part of it is mental illness – which I have very little control over, but I think a larger part of it is boredom.  So to combat this, which I’m sure is going to take a lot of practice and daily effort, I’m going to try to think of at least one thing every day that I’m sincerely grateful for.  Sounds simple enough, right?  We’ll see.

Today I’m grateful that The Destroyer and I are able to provide ourselves with not just everything we need, but also most of the things we want.  We have to save up to buy certain things, but we are able to save now, even if it is just a little at a time.  We have a roof over our heads.  We have heat and electricity.  We have plenty of food in our cupboards and gas in our vehicles.  We want for very little.  I’m grateful for the things that we have.

The best thing to happen in the past two years is our apartment.  We love it here.  We’re so happy in our own space, and one of us will randomly exclaim things like “This is our apartment!” or “I love you in our apartment!”  We still have so much stuff and not enough space for it, but we’re working on downsizing and organizing.  One of the things I want to do is put shelves in our tiny closet, so that we have a place for bath towels and sheets and anything else we currently don’t have room for.  We’ll go to the Johnnycake Center next month to see if they have a small dresser, because you can never have enough dressers.  We’ve got the space for it, and OMG I HAVE SO MUCH CLOTHES.  The only other thing I can think of that I want in my apartment is a wall rack to hang my pans on.  They are currently sitting on my stove top all of the time, which gets on my nerves.  And these projects are things we can do ourselves.  It feels good to be able to do things for ourselves, to not have to rely on anyone else.

If I find myself feeling down today, spiraling into that dark hole I sometimes can’t seem to crawl out of on my own, I’m going to think about my apartment and how happy I am to have it.  Maybe it will work, and maybe it won’t, but I’m going to give it a shot.  Because who wants to be miserable?  I sure don’t.