Facebook is really pissing me off these days. I can’t even scroll down my news feed to see what my friends are up to without getting “recommended pages” after every few posts. I don’t want recommended pages. If I want to Like something, I will look it up and Like it. But I don’t want to like things! I don’t want to follow Will Ferrell or Kanye West or Dunkin Donuts or Miley Cyrus or ‘Love means never having to say you’re sorry…’ or Donald Trump or Swamp People or Downton Abbey or Awkward Family Photos or Bill Nye the Science Guy or Channing Tatum! I just want to see what my friends have been doing! Geez!
It’s snowing here in Rhode Island, just like it has been in many other states in the US lately. It’s winter, people of Rhode Island. It’s going to snow. Why are you all so surprised and angry about it? It snows here every year. If there is more than two inches on the ground, if the roads haven’t been plowed and treated, stay home. You have bigger problems if you think you can’t survive without bread and milk. Like, perhaps you should learn to watch the weather forecast and be prepared, for instance. Or learn how to do your grocery shopping like a grown up. Don’t go pissing and moaning because there’s a frakking ton of snow outside and you feel you have to go to the store or you won’t make it through the night. And don’t blame the weather. For God’s sake, please don’t blame the weather. Here’s a novel idea: stay off the roads so the plows can do their jobs, and just eat whatever rice or pasta or canned vegetables you have in your cupboards. If you must go out, because you’re headed home from work or from vacation or you had to take your kid to the hospital, that’s one thing (well, three, but you catch my icy drift, right? [see what I just did there???]). That’s understandable. Don’t complain when no one is forcing you to leave the house but yourself.
Despite being sick I’ve had a decent day. I played video games and watched TV and blew my nose a lot. My bestie brought me soup and The Destroyer (basically) took care of me. I drank chocolate milk even though I’m congested, but I knew what I was getting myself into there so I won’t complain about that. Being sick sucks, but I know how to do it in style.
BLANKETS ARE ALL THE RAGE, YO.
I’m tired and my body aches, so I’ma try and get some sleep. You just think about what I said.